If you and your partner have fairly busy lives, a lot of misunderstandings and a lot of miscommunication can naturally occur.
A weekly meeting, like you would have at your job or when you run your company.. I worked in a place where we had a morning meeting every day, and a weekly meeting every Tuesday. A lot can come to the surface this way. I lot of unfinished discussions, unmet expectations or unheard wants and needs can occur and ultimately you are clearing out any potential for resentments.
Do you remember when these were common discussions at the beginning of the relationship? When you were getting to know each other? What I am finding is that couples start to believe that they know their partner and stop asking questions, stop paying attention; so it starts to feel like there is nothing to talk about, or the phones, Facebook and TV take over and it feels personal, and it feels disconnected.
You can overcome the tendency to make everything too familiar by scheduling a non-negotiable 30 minute block of time without any distractions (no phones, no computers, no work, no children) and have an intentional, open-hearted, conversation.
Before starting, make sure you are taking deep breaths (breath restores us to the safety of this moment) and set your intention. Your intention can be something like: “Let this meeting be for the highest good for us both”.
Some ideas for questions:
How do you feel about us today?
Is there anything left over from last week that we should talk about?
In the next few days do you think you’ll need more alone time, or more togetherness?
How can I make you feel more loved?
Is there anything I have done in the past week that may have unknowingly hurt you?
This level of soul shaking depth can open you both up and connect you to who you are at the deepest level- where love lives.
My clients do not half-ass anything, and are interested and committed to going deeper into what feels challenging, and they trust that the process will unfold. Through working together as a couple we remove obstacles that block the natural flow of love that has always been there from the beginning, and recommit, and recommit again, as many times as is necessary, as we are living, breathing entities and we are constant motion. If you are ready to stop the pattern, and are ready to thrive in your relationship, I am completely dedicated to your success.
Andrea
If you want to talk further about couples or individual counseling, don’t hesitate to call me- 201-308-3987.
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